Thursday, 13 July 2017

LEFT-WING PEOPLE – THE (UNOFFICIAL) GUIDE


In the olden days, left-wing people used to like working-class people.


Lots of left-wing people used to be working-class people. These people were known as socialists and joined trade unions.

Sometimes working-class people used to frighten left-wing people, but they pretended that they weren’t frightened and were nice to them.

Left-wing people supported working-class people, gave them money, sat in rooms with them and wore badges to show that they cared more than right-wing people, who wore ties instead of badges and didn’t care.

Left-wing people used to support working class people

Nowadays


Nowadays, working-class people are bored with socialism because it hasn’t made them rich and happy.

Nowadays left-wing people are middle-class people. Working class people are a big disappointment to left-wing people.

Left wing people now think that working class people are:
(a) Simple and easily led
(b) Un-enlightened and susceptible to short-term pleasures
(c) Terribly sad and struggling, unable to cope on their own
(d) All of the above

Education Is A Life-long Task


Left-wing people think that working-class people are unable to think for themselves and require life-long education to help them make informed decisions.

Left-wing people work tirelessly on education programmes to encourage working class people to buy expensive food and clothes and not cheap food and clothes. They are disappointed that working-class people are un-ethical.


Working-class people like to drink alcohol and have sex. They do not understand that these activities are dangerous and need continuous education from left-wing people.

Working-class people need to be protected from newspapers, even though they don’t read them anymore. They are easily influenced and their happy-go-lucky ways can be turned into bigoted nasty ways. Left-wing people are needed to help them use Facebook carefully and not make mistakes.

Left-wing People Like To Be Sad and Unhappy


Many left-wing people have a very nice life, but they like to be sad. To help with this, they choose to be sad for other people. Sometimes these people are far away and sometimes they are nearby, but different to them.

In the olden days, left-wing people tried to make it better for other people. Nowadays, they like to protect them by being offended when a working-class person person doesn’t behave properly.

Left-wing people like to help other people by being offended on their behalf. This means that the other people can carry on with their lives and the left-wing people do all the work. This isn’t really fair, but the left-wing people seem to carry on doing it, so they must enjoy it. Despite all this effort left-wing people are still very sad.


Left-wing People Care More Than Other People


Left-wing people care so much that they love the whole entire planet. Other people don’t care about the planet, they only care about themselves and other people that they know. This means that left-wing people have to love the planet even more, even more than they actually like other people.

Left-wing people show that they care by telling other people about how much they care. They send special “I care” signals to other people. Forwarding videos on Facebook is one way that they can show how much they care. The videos often show people far away who are living miserable lives, but pictures of cute fluffy chickens in nasty factories are considered sufficient.

Left-wing activists (see below) are very helpful. They make lots of “I care” videos which makes it quick and easy for left-wing people to send their “signals”. They do this several times throughout each day when they are not busy.


Sometimes Left-wing People Are Made Angry By Other People


Left-wing people care so much, it makes them hate people who don’t show that they care. These people are right-wing people. Left-wing people have given them a name, it is “Tory scum”. Left-wing people like to shout at the right-wing people and tell them that they are scum, even when they aren’t listening.

Shouting at the Tories is another way to show that they care. Caring is very important to left-wing people.

Left-wing people care so deeply that they don’t have time for thinking and convincing. They use their precious time for shouting about caring.

Also, working-class people don’t know what left-wing people are saying, so it is helpful when they point to the right-wing people and shout “scum”. They think that working-class people do understand shouting and caring.

If you have observed someone and you are not sure if they are a left-wing person, seek their opinion on “the Tories”. If they start to shout and care, they are left-wing.


Left-wing Activists Are Helpful


Left-wing activists are left-wing people who have an internet connection. They make the internet very loud.

Left-wing activists help other people care on the internet. They are very helpful in pointing out when people have forgotten to show that they care. They help people in many ways – watching videos, commenting on things and clicking on buttons called “start a petition.” Left-wing activists sometimes go outside their houses and meet other left-wing people and they care together and shout at the Tory scum.


Left-wing People Are Funny


Left-wing people have “enlightened comedians” who make jokes on “panel games”. These are broadcast on the television and BBC Radio 4.

The enlightened comedians make people laugh at right-wing people, whom they consider stupid. In the olden days, comedians made jokes about Irish people, but these comedians weren’t clever like the enlightened comedians.

Instead of the Irish people, the enlightened comedians make jokes about working-class people. Because they care, they use special words like “Glaswegians”, “Sun readers” and “UKIP supporters”, so the working-class people will not notice.

Working-class people do funny things like drinking Monster energy drinks, eating Haribos and watching television. This is funny and the enlightened comedians are helpful because they point at them and laugh, so we know who to laugh at as well. It is very funny and we all laugh because we are en-lightened too.



Further Reading – George Orwell


In the 1930’s George Orwell wrote about the left-wing people he knew in The Road to Wigan Pier. It is very funny.


George Orwell went to fight in the Spanish Civil War against the Spanish right-wing people and to help working-class people. When he arrived in Barcelona, he found that the working-class people had taken it over. The left-wing people (then known as the Communist Party) were so disappointed that they took the city back from the working-class people and gave it to the nice right-wing people. This is a good example of how left-wing people show that they care. He wrote about this in Homage to Catalonia.

Originally published at Satire...Not Quite Dead Yet


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9 comments:

  1. Personally, I think I am getting disillusioned with the Alt-Right. Does not seem to be going anywhere. Perhaps, it is really just a cabal of racists that have nothing else to do, but attempt to cause trouble. In a way, the Alt Right is a lot like the Jewish supremacists it claims so much to hate and oppose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Probably says more about yourself than the Alt-Right. Most people go through down swings from time to time and become disillusioned even at the best of times like today.

      Delete
    2. Not really. The alt right as defined by Spencer and Co is dead. He made it so toxic that it is no longer viable and is no longer growing. No matter, the fight goes on with new people, new "brands", but an age old motive - advancing arta / logos throughout the universe.

      Look at Jordan B Peterson & Co as something that is growing and will / is surpassing the alt right.

      Delete
  2. I love this piece. Before I was a Trump supporter I was a Bill O'Reilly fan - mostly because he was a huge early culture warrior against the left. He's a horses ass, but he shines a light on the moral decay of the left.

    Liberalism is a disorder of the mind induced by an infection of the spirit. I am convinced that liberalism is the manifestation of the Lord blinding eyes to reason and common sense.

    Trump and O'Reilly would love this and agree with it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Angela Merkel is an ALTRUIST, and as such believes in SACRFICE. Indeed, she decided to SACRIFCE her own people, the German people, for the GREATER GOOD of Multiculturalism (a moral abstraction).

    In the past, individuals SACRIFICED their families for the GREATER GOOD of the Country. This was especially so in those two most infamous tyrannies, Commie Russia and Nazi Germany-- dare I even make mention of them. Still, today it is assumed that Multiculturalism/Globalism is some Higher form of COLLECTIVISM than mere Nationalism. All forms of Patriotism and National feeling are being slowly SACRIFICED for the greater good of Humanity as a whole. Which means, Whites are sacrificed for non-Whites.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Still, however one may feel about Angela Merkel, or Germany as such, it is not just her. Theresa May, like Angela Merkel, desires to SACRFICE her people, The British people, for THE GREATER GOOD of Multiculturalism. So, do not be too quick to single out Germany, please.

    Of course, Angela Merkel might rationalize that Germans must take in Muslims to atone for the sins of National Socialism. Still, there is a certain irony and absurdity here. Both National Socialism, what is usually termed Nazism, and Multiculturalism alike, are mere forms of COLLECTIVISM, which reject the possibility of OBJECTIVE REALITY. Or, at any rate, they reject the idea that it is in any way knowable. Both Nazis and Multiculturalists believe there is a White way of seeing things and a non-White way of seeing things. They merely take opposing sides: the Nazis being Pro-White; the Multiculturalists, anti-White. Not a dime worth of difference. The way Multiculturalists blame all on Whites, is exactly like how Nazis blame all on Jews!

    Why cannot others perceive that parallel? I wonder!

    ReplyDelete
  5. With a heavy heart, I fear we may see, forever, the demise of the German people, as a unique biological cohort. And once they are no more, guess who will be next on the Multicultural chopping block? The British, that is who, and it will be precisely those whose profession was to guilt trip the Germans for the sins of National Socialism, will turn their attention to the British, the English in particular, and guilt trip them for the sins of British Imperialism.

    I do not look forward to that day. For, if there is only country, in Europe, I admire above all others, it is, of course, The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Let us verily hope and pray that the world does not run out of Germans, any time soon. For if it did, the Goldhagens and the Speilbergs will be breathing down British necks about the plight of the Irish Catholics in Northern Ireland, among others.

    ReplyDelete

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